If you think you're lonely now, wait until tonight

"When skeletons come out of the closet and chase you all around the room.
When LOVE walks out and PAIN walks in to settle for a stay"

Bobby Womack could not have articulated my week any better and if telling and retelling my story makes me the last woman to experience this, then this page will really be worth it. I mean afterall, aren't there enough blogs worthy of cnn and frustrated politcal views?? We can all see what's going on in the world thanks to round the clock media coverage and the ticker that has the entire world captivated. Looking for sports, nasdaq, thelatest on Martha Stewart? See the ticker. There is probably one going across the bottom of your computer at this very moment. When a woman goes through her own September 11th, though, there is no CNN. Where was Christian Amonpour when my husband walked out on me?? Oprah? Larry King?? Not a soul, but I felt like the whole world could see it. There is a line in a Paul Simon song that goes "Losing love is like a window in your heart. Everybody sees you're blown apart. Everybody sees the wind blow." That's really what it was like. Osama didn't have nothing to do with it. I was a victim of emotional terrorism and I had to rebuild my own trade center. I had to clean up the ashes and I had to go on. I know corny, but believe me when I tell you, very true. Everyday has become easier. Every sad moment has been sprinkled over with sugar and humor. And surviving is the best revenge. Remember how after the towers were destroyed BROADWAY was illuminated and New Yorkers were challenged to resume life to "stick it to the terrorists?" It was supposed to be the AMERICAN WAY. To show them that our lives had not been hijacked by fear. Well that's just what I am doing. I am going to date. I am going to really fall in love with someone and I am going to continue to be happy. I am going to stick it to the terrorists. You know why?? Because terrorism is a mental thing. We all have the capacity to be our own enemies. WE can choose to live in fear. WE have made all these stupid rules at the airport to perpetuate the sense of fear. And WE can decide to go on.

If you are able to stand yourself up and dust yourself off, then you are able to go on. Life really is meant to be lived to the fullest and when you realize that you have been spared so many real pains, the pain of heartache doesn't seem so bad. See, my former husband never beat me. He wasn't particularly mean. Not abusive. He paid all the bills on time and took very good care of me. In the scheme of things, I got off easy. I know many of you can say the same. Yes there were days I wanted him to die, but in hindsight, I refocused and realized that my desire to live was stronger than my desire to see him dead. As morbid as it may sound, it is what has kept me sane. I mean think about it, we have no idea if Osama is dead, because he is very alive in our minds. When you stop focusing on him, and start focusing on yourself, you will notice one crucial point : HE MISSED!!! Get a good look...