M.R. Original

Yoda says to Luke, during Jedi training: "Do or Do Not. There is no try." These words are cannonized by many Type A personalities such as myself. Long before I knew who Yoda was, my father was full of whitty cliches that my brother and I now refer to "Russims." Today he shared with me a conversation he recently had with a childhood friend about the obstacles they had overcome [which by the way currently consume our community as a whole] single parent homes, in the projects, limited income, free lunch, public schools, racism, stereotyping, discrimination, racial profiling,etc....Many a self-made, bootstrapping person has looked back in wonder at the friends (and family) unable to take the leap and overcome the dire situations. In his conversation with his buddy, they talked about the Haves and the Have Nots. Daddy in all of his infinate wisdom has surmised that the Haves and Have Nots of today are the Do's and Do Nots of yesterday. Those that did nothing got nothing and those that did something are in a place in life where they never thought they would be simply because they chose to exceed the expectation of the current day..... I dare say, they had the AUDACITY OF HOPE we see in our current political climate. Here's to every little black boy that defies the odds whether or not he knows. That's why I love them so. I'm not sure I could ever give up on them. I have to keep giving my best effort. At some point this will all be worth the ride.

Crime & Punishment

This may come as some surprise
that I miss you.
I could see through all of your lies,
but still I miss you.
Is it a crime,
that I still want you, and I want you to
want me too? (sade)


I grew up in a household where discipline [punishment] was implemented with speed and fury. I have always HATED punishment. When I was caught, my parents were swift, consistant and just. There was no 2 weeks restriction, loss of privileges for an undetermined amount of time. Call it chicken or egg, but I don't know which came first. My parents punishment reduced my patience for long belabored punishment. There were times when my dad would make me wait, just to make the punishment worse. He'd come home, have dinner, watch the news, have desert, take a shower and then right when I got in the bed, he'd awaken me with the famous line : "this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you."
Dating is neither consistent, swift nor just, and the punishment is a long and arduous process. For the past year, my dating "mojo" has been in the Bermuda Triangle. I have had experiences so bad that I am willing to give up on the hopes of ever finding that special someone (again). Then one night I had a thought: I am being punished by the dating gods for a terrible transgression I committed a long time ago. See, I am used to getting my punishement when I committ my crimes. My mother's favorite saying is : sometimes you have to beat the puppy where she shits. This is also the philosophy of dog training. Is it possible my mother consulted a dog training book during my formative years? nahhh During housebreaking, if you do not address the behavior when it occurs, then you can not punish the dog afterward. They do not understand delayed punishment.....What separates us from animals is that we are supposed to know better. When you know better, you do better.
The other caviate is that the punishment must fit the crime. I committed a dating crime and I am being punished in the dating arena. I have been dating the ultimate jerk and I have been enduring it, because I felt I deserved it, but you know what? My bid is over. I have been reformed. I see the error of my ways. I am ready for release. I have served my time. I am FREE (again).
I'll never be
your Beast of Burden,
My back is strong
but it's a hurtin