Change Direction

I often wonder if Napoleon knew if the battle of Waterloo was going to be his final battle forever immortalized as his WATERLOO? I wonder if he might have passed million signposts leading to the destination that said: TURN AROUND!! STOP!! YIELD!! DO NOT ENTER WRONG WAY!!! The modern day street signs that we take for granted are so explanatory: ONE WAY, NO TURN ON RED, and my personal favorite, PED XING. They are all designed to give us a gentle nudge in the right direction. Should we desire a change of direction at the wrong place and time, there are other signs: NO U TURN.
In life, when we are seeking a change of direction, the signs are not always posted so clearly, but our intuition provides the direction. When all else fails, the outcome is the best indicator. I wanted to switch jobs, when I didn't get the one I wanted, I pouted. The outcome was telling me YIELD. I did so unwillingly, but it turned out fine. These past few years of dating the signs have all read: PROCEED WITH CAUTION! SLOW DOWN! CURVES AHEAD. I have just been flying by the seat of my pants in the name of adventure and dating is turning into my Waterloo. Most of my attempts, though fun, have not been productive. They have taught me a lot about myself and the opposite sex, but this was not supposed to be a learning experience. That's what school is for!!! I am guessing that as Napoleon headed to his destination, he thought he would emerge victorious. He expected to conquer Waterloo. As history (and fate) would have it, he was the one to be conquered. Perhaps dating is my Waterloo. It is the one thing I really thought I could attack and win, but I am still in it. I think I may have lost, but denial won't let me look at it that way. I guess instead of Waterloo, I am more like W (as in George W) when he declared victory in the Iraqui-offensive when it continues as I type. In short, no pun intended, I will continue with this offensive in the same manner. I will request more troops for a losing battle and the war will wage on until there is a CHANGE in my administration. This CHANGE will have to be as historic as the recent CHANGE in our country, because like our country, it takes CHANGE on a high magnitude for me to GET IT! I'm not slow, I'm not hardheaded, I just don't read the signs even the one I see everyday that reads: OBJECTS IS MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR!

RESOLUTION

What is it about this time of the year that forces us, even the most anti establishment and contrary, to re-evaluate and reassess ourselves? I have fought the good fight, but this thing is everywhere. We are all fallible and no one is having that perfect life, but how many times can we hit reboot before we just make peace with our imperfect selves. Love ourselves for who we really are? No one escapes the self-critical self, but we manage to miss the part of our self that loves everything we do. How is that. So today, I actually got a chance to catch Oprah and she's all about this Best Life series. Even The Great O has fallen off the infamous wagon. Good ol Dr. Oz gave like a million lists with sublists and all these things one should know to live that ever elusive BEST LIFE EVER. One of the best questionnaires was the 3 questions you should ask yourself.

They are:
1. What's been holding you back from getting healthy?
2. Why are you worthy of getting healthy this year?
3. What are your specific goals for 09 and what are your hurdles for each goal?

I answered these questions and you can check em out by clicking the title for this blog entry. It was useful, and insightful. I recommend it for anyone looking for a solution. One thing though, continues to keep my wheels spinning: What did our grandmothers do? They didn't have all this stuff! Did they ever fall off the wagon? I bet they did. Well what I for sure is this: The wagon is designed to fall off. Vices, addictions and bad habits are the result of weakness. Sometimes you just can't hold on to the sides because you're weak. We are all WEAK! Have you ever actually ridden on a wagon? Even the little red one of our childhood had nothing to really hold onto. We just had to be strong enough to ride out the bumps, but how many times did we fall out simply because there was no seat belt or safety harness? This has brought me to my latest epiphany: Those of us who fall from the wagon, should not be angry at ourselves (all the time), we should blame the wagon!!!
After a wonderful week of the double edged sword that is love and affection from the toughest critics on the planet [The Children of Maude Gray], I have decided to fight hard for the body of my youth. I seem to still have the mindset, just not the thighs of my 20 year old self. So, I hit the gym today for day two of the better me plan. Like all the other January-Gym Folk, I am familiar with the glares of the regulars (which is why I go an hour and a half prior to closing). This decision alone means I will have an empty gym and all the good equipment to myself.
This is a re-re-re-restart for me, and so I don't so much count the working out as part of the so-called New Year's Resolution(s) that I haven't really made, but what the heck it fits in. Let me know how it's going in your neck of the woods.

Bag Lady

My first resolution of 2009 is to change my BAG. This is one I can keep and it is one that will inspire me to keep the other resolutions I attempt to make. I am an admitted bag-junkie and I rarely carry the same bag for longer than a month. These bags I will keep with me at all times and carry them to the grocery store until they become a habit. This is my resolution.

There are a million other resolutions I could make, but this one is the easiest and most sensible. One of the funny things about having a handbag problem, is I had no idea how bad it was until I photographed all twenty-something, and came across bags I had not carried in years, but died to have on sight. This is a self-improvement I can actually use to cure my addiction. So for 2009 I will break the chains of addiction, what about you?