A CLASSIC

There is a book. Many people swear by it. It is a classic and difficult read, but has a lot of meaningful insight. I have read and re-read it upon the suggestion of [MEN] friends: The Art of War by Sun-tzu. The following is a gleening the jist of it. Let me know what you think, or thought of the book if you have already read it. Do you find these rules applicable to the single's scene?
LAYING PLANS

Sun Tzu said:
The art of war is of vital importance. It is a matter of life and death, a road either to safety or to ruin. Hence it is a subject of inquiry which can on no account be neglected.

The art of war is governed by five constant factors, to be taken into account in one's
deliberations, when seeking to determine the conditions obtaining in the field. These are: (1) The Moral Law; (2) Heaven; (3) Earth; (4) The Commander; (5) Method and discipline.
The Moral Law causes the people to be in complete accord with their ruler, so that they will
follow him regardless of their lives, undismayed by any danger.
Heaven signifies night and day, cold and heat, times and seasons.
Earth comprises distances, great and small; danger and security; open ground and narrow passes;the chances of life and death.
The Commander stands for the virtues of wisdom, sincerely, benevolence, courage and
strictness.
By method and discipline are to be understood the marshaling of the army in its proper subdivisions,the graduations of rank among the officers, the maintenance of roads
by which supplies may reach the army, and the control of military expenditure.
These five heads should be familiar to every General: he who knows them will be victorious; he
who knows them not will fail.

Therefore, in your deliberations, when seeking to determine the military conditions, let them be
made the basis of a comparison, in this wise:--
(1) Which of the two Leaders is imbued with the Moral law?
(2) Which of the two Generals has most ability?
(3) With whom lie the advantages derived from Heaven and Earth?
(4) On which side is discipline most rigorously enforced?
(5) Which army is stronger?
(6) On which side are officers and men more highly trained?
(7) In which army is there the greater constancy both in reward and punishment?
By means of these seven considerations I can forecast victory or defeat. The General that hearkens to my counsel and acts upon it, will conquer: let such a one be retained in command!
The General that hearkens not to my counsel nor acts upon it, will suffer defeat:--let such a one be dismissed!
While heading the profit of my counsel, avail yourself also of any helpful circumstances over and beyond the ordinary rules. According as circumstances are favorable, one should modify one's plans.
All warfare is based on deception. Hence, *when able to attack,we must seem unable; *when using our forces, we must seem inactive; *when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; *when far away, we must make him believe we are near.
*Hold out baits to entice the enemy. *Feign disorder, and crush him. If he is secure at all points, be prepared for him. If he is in superior strength, evade him.
*If your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may
grow arrogant. *If he is taking his ease, give him no rest. If his forces are united,separate them.
*Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected.
These military devices, leading to victory, must not be divulged beforehand.
Now the General who wins a battle makes many calculations in his temple wherever the battle is fought. The General who loses a battle makes but few calculations beforehand. Thus do many calculations lead to victory, and few calculations to defeat: how much more no calculation at all! It is by attention to this point that I can foresee who is likely to win or lose.
If you'd like more info on the book, the title to this blog entry has a link to a useful webpage.

I gotta new attitude

"I'm feelin good from my head to my shoes
Know where I'm going and I know what to do
I've tidied up my point of view
I've got a new attitude"

I almost gave it all up (again and again), but I can proudly type the Patti LaBelle lyrics because they are so uplifting and because they are true. Ladies, how many times must we learn from Madonna that reinvention is a necessary part of life? Smart folk like to call it EVOLUTION.
This dating thing, that I have likened to a roller coaster is more like a washing machine with an extended spin cycle. I really should have started on the gentle setting, I never do things nice and easy. Through it all, I have remained myself and I know now what I've always known (and frequently say about others): I'm single for a reason. I haven't reached the point where my desire to compromise exceeds my desire to be my bold, audacious, unabashed self. I still (in many ways) associate relationships with a degree of opression and self-denial. Not because that was my experience, but that's what I see in this post 30's dating. I must be dating the wrong men.

A little B once told me that I was single by circumstance not by choice (a play on my own words I might add) because my circumstances were that I didn't have any good choices...OUCH. That stalled me out for a long time. Had I set my feet on the path for eternal singledome?


Around this time, I also realized that I suffer from Henny Penny Syndrome. You know she was the little chicken who couldn't get any of her friends to help her make the bread, so she made it and she ate it all by herself. I think my mom shared that story with me to prepare me for a life all alone. A life with no one to help me through. And yes, this is how single women remain happy, but I am not talking about a man. I also know how HPS can be counterproductive at work as well. I recently inherited a big project that I just HAD to do alone. Now quite naturally I have spent the better part of my weekend belly aching about it, but again, nobody said I had to do it ALONE. Henny Penny went through it alone when she could have at least been more persistent with her friends. That's what I am going to do.

I've got a bunch of friends out there. They read this, they laugh at me and with me and now I am asking them to put it in writing. C'mon: Faithnluv, CaliGurl, JillontheHill, QueenTiye it's time to type up and type out. I know you have stories, I have heard them. Put them down. Right Here. Right now..or should I say Write Here and Write Now.

Let's do this TOGETHER. Invite your friends to check it out and to check in. I need your inspiration. You know I have had a wild year (and a half). The Dating God's have blessed me with story after story,but after series of misses, I have the writer's block of a lifetime.

Recent conversations with my ex opened wounds I'd work long and hard to forget. I will never be able to explain how his weakness(es) make me weaker. It forces me back to the table with my uncertainties and insecurities, if only for a second...I'm back though. That was a brief and painful visit to a place I never willingly go, but I'm in control, my worries are few...OOh OOh...OOH OOH OOOOH...I'VE GOT A NEW ATTITUDE.