I gotta new attitude

"I'm feelin good from my head to my shoes
Know where I'm going and I know what to do
I've tidied up my point of view
I've got a new attitude"

I almost gave it all up (again and again), but I can proudly type the Patti LaBelle lyrics because they are so uplifting and because they are true. Ladies, how many times must we learn from Madonna that reinvention is a necessary part of life? Smart folk like to call it EVOLUTION.
This dating thing, that I have likened to a roller coaster is more like a washing machine with an extended spin cycle. I really should have started on the gentle setting, I never do things nice and easy. Through it all, I have remained myself and I know now what I've always known (and frequently say about others): I'm single for a reason. I haven't reached the point where my desire to compromise exceeds my desire to be my bold, audacious, unabashed self. I still (in many ways) associate relationships with a degree of opression and self-denial. Not because that was my experience, but that's what I see in this post 30's dating. I must be dating the wrong men.

A little B once told me that I was single by circumstance not by choice (a play on my own words I might add) because my circumstances were that I didn't have any good choices...OUCH. That stalled me out for a long time. Had I set my feet on the path for eternal singledome?


Around this time, I also realized that I suffer from Henny Penny Syndrome. You know she was the little chicken who couldn't get any of her friends to help her make the bread, so she made it and she ate it all by herself. I think my mom shared that story with me to prepare me for a life all alone. A life with no one to help me through. And yes, this is how single women remain happy, but I am not talking about a man. I also know how HPS can be counterproductive at work as well. I recently inherited a big project that I just HAD to do alone. Now quite naturally I have spent the better part of my weekend belly aching about it, but again, nobody said I had to do it ALONE. Henny Penny went through it alone when she could have at least been more persistent with her friends. That's what I am going to do.

I've got a bunch of friends out there. They read this, they laugh at me and with me and now I am asking them to put it in writing. C'mon: Faithnluv, CaliGurl, JillontheHill, QueenTiye it's time to type up and type out. I know you have stories, I have heard them. Put them down. Right Here. Right now..or should I say Write Here and Write Now.

Let's do this TOGETHER. Invite your friends to check it out and to check in. I need your inspiration. You know I have had a wild year (and a half). The Dating God's have blessed me with story after story,but after series of misses, I have the writer's block of a lifetime.

Recent conversations with my ex opened wounds I'd work long and hard to forget. I will never be able to explain how his weakness(es) make me weaker. It forces me back to the table with my uncertainties and insecurities, if only for a second...I'm back though. That was a brief and painful visit to a place I never willingly go, but I'm in control, my worries are few...OOh OOh...OOH OOH OOOOH...I'VE GOT A NEW ATTITUDE.