I must admit, the ride thus far has been nothing less than a rollercoaster. This whole adventure has been fun even in the low moments. One of the reasons I am even documenting this is so that YOU can get your nerve up and do the same."I'm dying for some action!
I'm sick of sittin round here trying to write this book.
I need love reaction,
C'mon baby give me just one look.
You can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire.
Even if we're just dancing in the
dark. "Springstein
What have I learned:
1. That there are Good men out there (no pun intended), and that they aren't that hard to find. The dilemma is that we have to reprogram our philosophy of what a good man is and what it takes to get, have and keep one. I for one, am the first to admit, that I prefer a, shall we say, rugged guy. Nice guys frequently finish last with me. I had to change this mindset and start saying perhaps to the nice guys and you know what I found??? It's what I didn't find: DRAMA. At first I chalked this up to boredom. Then I missed it. Finally I got used to dating without it, and you know what? It's not so bad.
2. That we often limit ourselves when we limit others.
Whether it is our friends, our co-workers or other acquaintances, we are all guilty of having preconceived notions and putting others in the very boxes we feel we are too fabulous to be in. When you start seeing other people as whole individuals with as much good to offer the universe as you think you have, then your doors will naturally open. This part of the journey has been the most fun for me, because I consider myself open minded. I had no idea how narrow minded I was about people until I applied these same principles to MEN...Amazing but true. You have to give them the benefit of the doubt too.
3. That it is easier to observe a problem than to work towards a solution.
I really did think that my being "single" was a circumstance I was not in control of. I really thought there were no quality suitors out there for me and I really began to believe that I was doomed to date the usual suspects until I got tired of running. This was a very passive position to take, and very NOT ME, but one I did because it was easier. This continues to be real work, and at times difficult, but I would not change back now.
4. That being alone is a choice few of us actually make.
When given the choice, we'd all like to be with somebody. What we do is make excuses about why we are not with that somebody by creating a superhero. An unattainable, unavailable counterpart based on our own dillusional concepts of who we'd like to be and who that fake part of us would like to be with. It is a tricky little web and more than that, it is a fairytail
