There's only three things That's sure:
Taxes, Death and Trials,
This I knowMG
When Marvin Gaye put this line in Troubled Man, he was trying to let the world know that hard times last longest. In the criminal justice system and in gang lore, there is a slogan that uses the emblem of the tragic/comic faces thespians use to symbolize drama. Smile Now and Cry Later speaks to the notion that we may enjoy what we are doing at this moment, but the consequences will come. Sometimes in the way you least expect them.
Today one of my 17 year old clients described her mother as "manipulative" to which her mother replied, I earned that. Her choice of words startled me. How do you "earn" that I asked. I mean, to earn something, you have to work at it right? Her reply was that she is now paying for the choices she made when her child was younger. She wished she had been more truthful when she was younger, now her child has her own opinions and knows too much. Because of this, she doesn't trust authority. It's that whole "Earned Income" term on your taxes. It's like having to pay additional taxes for things you thought you already paid for when FICA (n'em) took all that money out your check all year long and now on April 15, they want more more more. No matter how much this mother gives, in the eyes of her daughter it will never be enough to offset the "deficit" she feels.
Romance has the same principle collecting. We seem to all be caught up in a never ending cycle of tax evasion and collection. There are never enough exemptions, loopholes or write offs. We want to pay as little as possible and the government will take all that we give and want more. This year, we get a "gift." Personally, I am looking forward to my "stimulus check." Unlike everyone who is threatening to save the money the benevolent government is giving us, I am planning to use it for the purpose it was intended STIMULATION. Same with my heart. I am gonna stimulate that too. I have paid my taxes and if you let yourself, you will be trapped in the illusion that there is no way out of the cycle. Too much is never enough.
Playing the dating field is like paying a bill with interest that collects so quickly that you spend your whole life paying and never make a dent in the principle. I have been in the dating game for what feels like forever and although I have become tired and long for the sideline. As tired as I am though, I feel I have somehow done something to "earn" this overtime game with dating. My deepest fear is that if I stand still, I will pass out. It's like runner's euphoria. My legs will go as far as my heart and head will take me. It really is all in the mind, but when does the mind get enough? Well if you are a thinker (like me), the answer is NEVER!!!
If you've ever watched a marathon, you see the visible strain on the faces of the runners. They know it is a taxing struggle that the body is not meant to endure repeatedly, yet they get out there and push themselves to the limit. Some things are meant to be pushed to the limit; I would rather push my credit cards to the limit or the engine of a fine tuned German sports car to the limit on an open road, but not my heart. THE BUCK STOPS HERE!
In the end of Troubled Man, Marvin breaks it all the way down and spits it out in one breath. It goes like this:
I'vebeensomeplacesandI'veseensomethings. YesIgotmyconnections.Theydigmydirections. When people say that'sokaytheydon'tbotherme.
I'mreadytomakeit. Don'tcare whattheweather. Don'tcareboutnottrouble. Gotmyselftogether. I'vegotthekindof protectionthatsallaround.
