Lately, I have been quite jealous of my ex-husband. Tragic huh?? When I think about how easy it was for him to move on. Go forth. Embark on a new life as if all of the time and energy and love and all that we had was no more significant a choice than " smoking or non". His uncanny ability to detach himself from our marriage seemed effortless and leads me to the conclusion that if you don't hold on to something too tightly, you won't have a problem letting go. I thought I was an easy, breezy kind of person who rolled with life's punches. And I am. Life has thrown me many a lemon and I have been a lemonade making girl. I know how to cut my losses and move on to the next hurdle...
Except when it comes to LOVE. Which is why, for the most part, I have spent the better part of my second single life avoiding anyone and anything that looked like LOVE, even in disguise.
Dating men who had nothing REAL or CONCRETE to offer me emotionally, has been a way of keeping my emotions/feelings to myself. I am now realizing that just because they are with me, doesn't mean they are safe.
Girls, I think the great epiphany I have come to today is that our feelings/emotions don't grow in our safe place. Our emotions, or LOVE if you prefer, can not blossom in the safe warm dark box we store them in. They are not pictures or priceless heirlooms that will fade with exposure to the light. Despite how fragile they seem, our emotions are meant to be experienced and shared with and by others. By withholding, we are doing ourselves a disservice. It's time to show your hand. It's like keeping a Porsche in the garage. What's the point? Our emotions/feelings are our Porsches and they deserve to be driven FULL THROTTLE.
Love isn't love until you give it away.
As I try to "give it away, give it away, give it away now", I am caught up in the shoppers' fate ; have you ever been window shopping and everything looked perfect and the second you have money to spend, nothing in the store is "worth it". Even in your favorite store!!!! That is my new dilemma. The opportunities for quality dating have presented themselves and suddenly even a Saint looks like a sinner. I don't think the pickings have ever been slim, but my perception has changed. When I embarked upon this journey, I thought the response of men would change once I made myself formally available, but the men have been here all along. It is my attitude towards them now, which has shifted. Casual flings that were once acceptable to me, continue to come my way. Men are actually willing to offer more to, not run from, a woman who says what she wants. I know I thought they'd head for the hills, but they haven't and now I am in a quandary. What do you do when you find what you're looking for?
