M.R. Original

This weekend my dad said something to me that stopped me cold. He is full of witty euphemisms, one-liners and cliches, but this time I took it to heart. We were discussing vacation plans and I had explained to him my limitations. Like most doting dads, he does not readily accept that I have limitations. He considers all the hard work he and my mother put in to raising their children an investment. Like most older people, the obstacles we face are minor compared to the hurdles and mountains they had to scale back in the day. To make a long story short, my father's parting words to me were "Don't shortchange yourself."
It caught me off guard, because I try really hard to give myself every benefit of the doubt and I make every attempt to put myself ahead of the pace. Our parents know us better than we kn0w ourselves and my father had a point. I tend to undersell myself in situations of finance. How often do we shortchange ourselves in romance? In day to day interactions if you even THOUGHT someone else was underselling you or short changing you, wouldn't you fight? Wouldn't you stand your ground and demand all that you were worth? Then why why why do we shortchange ourselves in dating? How many times and how many ways do we hear of the man who fooled the beautiful woman out of her virtue, her money, her house and home? I watch Dateline, 48 Hours Mystery, 20/20 and Oprah. They all have run shows about smooth talking con MEN who exploit well meaning women. In many of these cases the women "appear" to have something going for themselves, yet time and time again, they accept less from a man than they would themselves. Even after the guy has been caught and brought to justice, these female "victims" just want to have an opportunity to "talk to him" and "ask him for the truth." They often want to know "Why he lied?" Well my answer is always because he CAN!
There are certain women who broadcast (in a super high pitched frequency that only dogs can here) when they are weak. Predators are able to pick up on this and move in for the attack. Not everyone understands that confronting a person who did you wrong does nothing for you and everything for them. It gives them another opportunity to WIN. Men (and some women) are competitive by nature and in all things there are winners and losers. If you don't think you won, guess what?? I won't say that I have never been caught up in a "situation," but I will say that once bitten twice shy. When I feel weakest, I avoid situations that could result in me compromising myself such as avoiding my favorite restaraunt when I am dieting. In dating, I rarely feel week. Just like there women who emit signals of weakness, I am conviced that some of us emit signals that say "Don't Even Try it!" Most of the time I am watching for the hook, waiting for the other shoe to fall. Cedric the Entertainer calls this the HOPE vs WISH rule. He says some people live their life HOPING NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN, and others live by the motto I WISH a MF WOULD....Now I know this is a form of shortchange because it denies me the full range of enjoyment. Weak, Sneaky folk need not apply. I guess my point is if this is the only option the universe has for me then keep the change.