I amwhatever you say I amif I wasn'tthen why would I say I amMM
Okay y'all, I'm reading this darned Oprah book and I'm past the breakthrough on to the WHO AM I? part. Here in VA, we have a saying: Who IZ YOU! It's more than a question. It's a demand to know who you REALLY think you are. Chapter Seven of Eckhart Tolle's book is about finding who you really are. Guess what? I am stumped!!! I thought I knew who I was. I thought I was the daughter of Morris and Zelma. The sister of Devany, Jaqui, and Ahmad. The X-Wife of Soldin. The BFF of Christa and Janet [yes you can have two]. Counselor to the masses. Neighbor to Thomas and Crystal. Happy, healthy and wise. Guess what I figured out though? I am a walking, living, breathing contradiction...
I am rich and I am poor. I am smart and I am dumb. I am old and I am young. I am black and I am white. I am controlled and Impulsive. I am conservative and liberal. I am a virgin and a whore. I am selfless and selfish . I am fat and skinny. I am elaborate and restrained. I am elite and inclusive...the list goes on...I am a work in progress.
I'm all these things and more. My image of myself is probably grander than Halle Berry, Jennifer Lopez and Madonna all rolled into one. I think that highly of myself. My dreams and aspirations are minimal. I am not overly ambitious, vain or self-centered, but what this breakthrough is about is that we are not simply who we've been. We aren't even who we want to be. We are who we are right now at this very moment. This moment is greater than anything. The future and the past try to define us, and they do so by giving us guidelines, but the present is all there [really] is. As I struggle to define who I am at any given moment, I have one simple question: Who IZ YOU?
I don't want to forget the present,
it's a gift.
A.K.
2 comments:
Its very difficult to stay plugged in to the present moment. Most of our days are oriented towards dealing with the consequences of past choices and planning for future events. Moreover, how many of us have or make time to stop, check in, and ask "what is going on in my head/heart/soul/spirit right now..." Typically only a crisis of faith causes this type of introspection.
As far as who I am right now at this moment? I think the fluidity of identity makes this difficult to pin down...am I what I am doing, what I am thinking? Who I am related to and in relationship with? Who I believe in? What other people think?
I feel as if I am whoever I say I am. I like to think of me, individually as my own little universe; then, indivisibly connected to all other universes. I do yearn to actually operate fully aware/conscious of this concept, but I know I have a lot of my mind to change being so diseased with living in oblivion...thank you
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