Just another day

February 14 has a very special place in my heart. Not for the obvious reasons. It is, well was, my wedding anniversary. Corny, I know, but hey, we went to Vegas and it was the special that weekend. Like most girls, I can't resist a special.
The other special nuance about February 14th is it coincides with High School Basketball Division Playoffs in my region. Many a winter, my now ex-husband and I would be forced to cancel or rearrange our dinner reservations to catch the game. That's just how important sports is to me. There is a concept in tournament play involving seeding and strategic losses. Believe it or not, if you are not the all out winner, it can sometimes be in your best interest to have a strategic loss. By losing, your seeding can give you a favorable position in tournament breakdowns. See, the best team always plays the worst team and the second best plays the second worst and so on. In a situation where the 4th-7th teams are not so evenly matched, a strategic loss can give a so-so team and advantage.
Being single is like that too. Sometimes you may have to lose to win. I know it's Valentine's day. I know it can be the single person's nemisis, but think for a minute of that friend of yours who on the outside has all the trappings of the love gods favor. This is a difficult time for that person. There are obligations and responsibilities, that they may not even want or be prepared for. It almost becomes a cliche and "unfun" (if that's even a word). For me and my ex, it lost any value or meaning because we knew we HAD to celebrate it. The real fun for us was the one thing we couldn't predict: the outcome of the game.
Your attached friends and family members go through the motions of V-Day and for all we know they are barely speaking to their significant other. Their relationship may be on skids, but for V-Day they put up a front. They are among that second seed team playing "not to lose." In sports, this is called : Prevent Offense. It actually causes even the best teams to lose.
I think it is best to be happy single than to be miserable with someone else. It is true that sometimes you have to lose to win. It doesn't make you a loser. You are a winner in the long run when you can take inventory and recognize that you have yourself intact. If you are ready to dive back into the dating pool like me, you have options. The first is to get out of your own way. You gotta like you first. Having said all that, this year don't forget to treat yourself like you love you.
One of my mantras, during some undisclosed ephiphany was:
See who you want and be who you want in the mirror.
See who you love and be who you love in the mirror.
Yep ladies, that's right: To thine own self be fabulous. There are numerous opportunities out there and you have to be there and be ready.

When I was home for the holidays, I shared my blog with my (sometimes cynical and ever critical) cousin. She asked me for quick easy ways to meet guys. I gave her my short list of suggestions:
1. Be where they are- sporting events, sports bars,the gym, resaraunts. It is a myth that there are all these cute guys in church and the grocery store. If they are at the grocery store, they are in the "already prepared food" isle, or they are somebody's husband.
2. Volunteer- Habitat for Humaity and Political Campaigns are excellent for finding a man who is good with his hands or has a strong opinion. You will at least find a sparring partner or get your faucets fixed (both of them).
3. GET ACTIVE- Any sports here works. Run a marathon, go snowboarding, take surf lessons. It's where the boys are when the girls are in the mall. Volunteer at your local gym for scorekeeping or officiating recreation league sports.
4. The next time you get your car serviced, don't forget to speak to the service manager about extras like detailing and connects for your vehicle. BOYS LIKE CARS.
5. Tell a friend. You have friends who don't know you are ready to be back on the market. You haven't told them because you think this makes you sound desparate. YOU ARE NOT!!!! Don't be mad if they think that. You have no control over what people think. Just enjoy the personal references. Some will be misses, but there may be a hit among them. When you need a new beautician, nail person, mechanic or any other service professional, you rely on referrals, why should this be any different? Call it networking, and roll with it.

Don't miss an opportunity during these long winter months to enjoy your own company. I guarantee you that others will notice and you will have your options available. It is options, not diamonds, that are a girl's best friend. My friends tell me it's my phermones that cause the fellas to gravitate towards me. I disagree. I have more fun when I am walking my dog, than most people have all day. Fun is contagious. It is attractive and it is the best accessory.


So remember to get yourself out there and more importantly, ENJOY YOURSELF, ENJOY YOURSELF, ENJOY YOURSELF FOR ME!