Rollercoasters

The whole purpose of going to amusement parks is to get on the biggest baddest roller coaster you can stand right? Even if that means enduring that long line filled with antsy children, hormone enraged adolescents who can't think of any other way to pass the time than to make out and annoying adults wearing the forsaken fanny pack. I believe there is only one thing worse than tolerating all of these things for hours to scream at the top of your lungs for the 2.5 minutes of the actual ride and that is a new convenience of modern technology: the scream cam. It's that camera set up to take your picture at the very worse possible time. When you are screaming, crying, and yelling with your hair going in many directions, never to return. To add insult to injury, many places actually charge a fee for you to purchase this photo.
In the 70's dance hit: Love Roller coaster, the ebb and flow of love sounds so fun and catchy. Then there is reality. See when you become involved in this dating roller coaster, you must be prepared for the twists and turns ahead. There is no sign before you get to the front about women expecting are discouraged from riding without the approval of a doctor. No one to give you the cursory warnings of an amusement park employee over that cute little microphone: "Keep all valuables close to you and your arms and legs in the car at all times. Remain seated and if your seat harness is loose, please let a member of the scream team assist you. For your own safety remember to keep all personal items on your person at all times. Lastly (and this is my favorite), we are not responsible for articles lost or stolen."
These warnings all apply to dating..
Women expecting are discouraged from riding. That's right. If you expect this to be a smooth and pleasant experience, GET OFF NOW. If you really think Prince Charming is waiting at the end of this line, please head directly to Fairytale land where the rides are smoother and there is neither a height requirement nor a warning label.

And YES, you are going to lose personal items and things that are valuable to you. Things like your sanity, your peace of mind and your self respect. That is of course, if you don't keep them close to you and inside the car at all times.

UPS, DOWNS, TWISTS and TURNS are subject to occur at anytime and without warning. There are days in dating where YOU LIKE HIM more than
HE LIKES YOU, but then HE WANTS YOU more than
YOU WANT HIM, however, YOU NEED TIME TOGETHER and
he wants TIME APART.
This ebb and flow changes so much that YOU HATE HIM when
HE LOVES YOU and then YOU WANT SPACE, but
HE WANTS TO BE WITH YOU and you think you CANT LIVE WITHOUT HIS PHONE CALL and then you wish
he would just SHUT UP.
He thinks YOU ARE TOO CONTROLLING, but
he just wants you to TAKE A STAND and MAKE THE DECISIONS, then
you TALK TOO MUCH, but then you are TOO QUIET and he thinks
YOU POUT when
you ask him WHAT HE'S THINKING
he asks you WHAT'S THE MATTER
and the answer to both questions is a resounding NOTHING!!!
Before you know it, you have become the woman in the scream cam photo, just an ugly version of yourself that you hardy recognize.