Is my current love interest the REAL DEAL?

Is my current love interest the REAL DEAL?
I had an on-line Tarot reading. Just for the heck of it, and let me just say: IT WAS ON POINT!!!
Try it for yourself.
By clicking my question, you will get an insight to my reading. If you know me, you know that the thing standing between me and my next true love involves domestic issues. I can not stress how accurate this was for me. I think you all should try it to disprove it!!!

Always a Lady

Mrs. Gloria Jean (Russ) Ellis was my aunt. She was my father's younger sister and she was the kind of woman I knew I wanted to be. Strong and smart. Flawless and fierce. A wife and mother. An aunt and sister. A beautician and soprano. A million things, but above all, she was always a lady.
Aunt Gloria-Jean (Ant Jean to me) left this world a better place than she found it.
She put beauty and love in everything she did with a quiet and deliberate
confidence that Russ Girls are known for.
The embodiment of a SENSUAL WOMAN
The Food,
The Voice,
The Beauty.
Last week (06/19/07) she passed away. On this earth, or elsewhere, she will always be my aunt and she will always be with me. She will always be a LADY.

Permission Slip

Remember when you were younger if you wanted to participate in an activity, you needed your parents' permission? You actually had to take a permission slip home and it had to be signed. I know, somebody actually forged a few (I won't tell). No matter how it was signed, it gave you the green light to go on the field trip, see the movie, go camping with the French Club or whatever, without your parents actually accompanying you. One little signature on one little piece of paper was your passport to unlimited possibility.
Modern day students do not have the same luxury. In fact, these forms are now referred to as consent forms and have such a legal, and technical implication, that it doesn't seem as fun as those permission slips. I think they are missing out on the art of permission. It is lighter than consent. It can free you to be happy. Consent implies that you know there are risks and you will not take legal action if something bad happens. Permission allows you to go ahead, try it, enjoy, be happy.

All I really want is to be happy.

Well today, I want to develop and create my own permission slip for happiness. Except in lieu of my bad attempt at my mother's signature (which was easier than my father's to forge), I will sign it myself. And instead of leaving my parents behind, I will leave my insecurities and fears behind. This permission slip will give me the green light to go have fun without them. This essentially has the same effect of the signed piece of paper.

I give myself permission to be happy.
To experience life (alone or with someone) to my fullest capacity.
I acknowledge that there are a number of risks involved in dating (and just about anything else including but not limited to: scuba diving, ski diving, big game hunting in the Sub-Sahara, juggling flames and knives) which are outweighed by the possibility of rewards.
I am willing to accept full responsibility for my own happiness and enjoyment.

How can I LOVE somebody else?

If I can't LOVE myself enough to know

When it's time to let go?

mjb

I'm Still Standing

Tonight I heard Irreplaceable by Beyonce, and I thought it was cute. It gets you through that superficial moment when you are forced to diss and dismiss a brotha. I love incorporating music lyrics in my blog to lighten up the tone. However, there is a song I must share in it's entirety. It is one of two that pick me up whenever I slip,trip or lose footing on this journey. There are days weeks and months when this dating thing seems more complicated than ever. The deeper I have gotten, the less I realize I know about dating, men other women and yes, even myself. If I have made nothing clear it is that this thing is a lesson in trial and error (heavy on the errors). One minute it's all peaches and cream. It looks like it's shaping up to be the beginning of something wonderful and positive and straight outa a chick flick and the next it is just a bad Lifetime movie where the woman gets the short end of the stick.

To my girls: Keep your FAITH IN LOVE. It will let you down, but it will come around. If you feel that you have fallen and can't get up, remember whether you think you can or think you can't, you're probably right. I think that's Henry Ford. More importantly, I'd like to share my favorite Elton John song lyrics. Hit iTunes (or wherever) play it loud and sing along!!!

You could never know what it's like
Your blood like winter freezes just like ICE.
And there's a cold and lonely night that shines from
you
You'll wind up like the wreck you hide
behind that mask you use.

And if you think this fool could never win
well look at me I'm coming back again
I've got a taste for love and a simple way
And if you need to know why I'm still standing,
you just fret away!

Don't you know I'm still standing, better than I ever did.
Looking like a true survivor. Feeling like a little kid.
I'm still standing after all this time.
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind.
I'm still standing.

Once I never could hope to win
You started down the road
leaving me again.
The threats you made were meant to cut me down
And if my love was just a circus
you'd be a clown by now!!! <- my favorite line.


Sure the body and the lyrics are poignant, but it is the chorus, what we now call the hook, that gets me through many a bad dating experience, even a bad day or week at work. It is my mantra to the bad luck birds that like to drop poop on my convertible.....

I'm still standing
Better than I ever did.
Looking like a TRUE SURVIVOR!
Feeling like a little kid.
I'm still standing
After all this time.
Picking up the pieces of my life without you ON MY MIND.
I'm STILL STANDING.

Proof that 30 is not the new 20

Boys 2 Men

Keep on learning,

Keep on growing

Wisdom helps us understand

We're maturing

without knowing

These are the things that change boys to men.

Whoever said 30 is the new 20 is under an illusion.

30 is still 30 and 20 is still 20. The difference is that the standards and the level of expectation for a modern day "30 something" are similar to the responsibilities and lifestyle of a person in their 20's back in the day.
See back then by the time people reached a certain level of adulthood, maturity met them at the door and they gladly welcomed growth into their lives. On the contrary, modern day 30 somethings are avoiding that visit like the plague. We are doing all we can to avoid the mundane reality of growing up; being a grown up. We make more money. We have more options, and we want to enjoy life a little longer before settling down for real and for true.
Add to this equation the given disparity between the genders and you have an abundance of single women and boys running amok. The result leads to the quagmire that is dating.
Our single predecessors did not have this problem, because when it was time to settle down, once upon a time, both genders assumed the position. Think about it, if you knew of an adult, maybe an aunt or uncle who was single in his or her 30s back in the day, he or she was either divorced or widowed.

It is the prosperity that we enjoy that has created the dating scene we hate. This scene has fragmented people and put them in descriptive boxes like political parties. We now accept or reject people on the bare minimum without getting to know who they are on the inside. Simple comments describe and dismiss a potential match: She has pretty feet. He is a baller. She drives this. He works there. She has this many children. He has that many houses. She is too perfect. He is too tall. She needs to give up carbs. He could stand a personal trainer. She went to this school. He pledged that fraternity.

In the end two adults who should be mature approach one another like adolescents in the high school cafeteria. Yeah, remember for a minute what that was like. I had one of the best childhoods on record. Adolescence was fun for me too, but when I was younger, I couldn't wait to grow up. I was tired of being a kid. And even now, with all the adult responsibilities that aren't so fun: bills, bills and more bills, I'd still rather be grown. This dating thing can become tiresome because there are a lot of boys out there holding on to a childhood that is well past its' prime. If in your life, you have done all you could do with what you had, then move forth. It is past time for grown ups to start behaving like grown ups.
There is of course plenty of blame to go around. Women can afford to lighten up and men could stand a dose of Miracle Grow. In the end, though, both parties have to want it mutually. If you know anything about youth, you must understand that it is contrary by nature and the opportunity to be on the same accord fleets as quickly as it arises, much like a butterfly. Maybe this is just one of those metamorphosis that has to be observed from the outside. I mean if you catch a butterfly, it will eventually die right? Is this fleeting thing just as fragile? I am beginning to wonder myself.
The one bit of advice I can think of at this point is to work on yourself and the rest will fall into place. If for example, I am contrary (which by the way I am), I can not be upset when I recognize that trait in others. I have to work on me. I have been working on me, but I had no idea there was so much work to do. The Law of Attraction teaches that if we all focus on being the embodiment of the person we love, then it will attract that same love to us. I haven't got a lack of love for myself, but I do have a couple of "ways" that come along with me. If I expect a person to tolerate those "ways" then I have to in turn do the same. It is afterall what grown ups do.