THUNDER ONLY HAPPENS WHEN IT'S RAINING

So here I go, I see the Crystal Vision
I keep my visions to myself

What can we do when we just stop believing in the feelings? I am naturally an optimistic and outgoing friendly person. But I must admit: Sorting out the dating game can be exhausting. I think the Fleetwood Mac quote relevant here is: Players only love you when they're playing.
In dating we are used to the formalities of the games, the lies, the stories that have been embellished and eventually the truth which pales in comparison.
It is the fear of appearing vulnerable and boring that perpetuate the stories. We even tell them. Stories are always so much better than the truth huh? I have been hearing some good stories lately about things like babies-mammas, ex-girlfriends who were sooo selfish and cruel. It makes us look bad ladies when HIStory is told. It makes me wonder how our books in high school would have been written if the Native Americans could have edited them. It requires a woman in the dating game (cause that's what it is) to be a detective. A bone collector. Just waiting for the skeleton bones to fall out inadvertently in conversation. This is very complicated for me and I really HATE it, but in the interest of this blog I am listening to an even NEWER batch of fables being woven by some that would put Aesop to shame. How can one man in one life withstand so much heartache, rejection and just romantic misfortune. I tell you ladies, it is amazing what a man will say when it is his turn to tell the tale. This month, I encourage you all to listen with your good ear. See what you hear that you have never heard before. If your experiences play out like mine, you will be amazed and amused. Here in the south I have been acquainted with an old saying that goes, if it doesn't come out in the wash, it will come out in the rinse. Fleetwood Mac brings that line to a close with the most important point: When the rain washes you clean you'll know. Just let the story tell itself, the truth is bound to come out. Don't lose your patience with the players, the naysayers and all the other cast of characters. Just get out there (please) and date with an open mind. Enjoy.

UNICORNS

Okay, finally. I have cast my net and a couple of worthwhile catches have come my way, and I have to admit that this whole thing is easier in theory than in practice. These past few weeks have taught me two important things about myself that you may already know about yourself:

1. The chase is the best part. I gave my number to a really attractive guy in a social situation where it was made perfectly clear that I was single and looking (hey that's what friends are for...Think back to high school). Well I made the first contact. I called him first and for a whole 2 days (as is the custom) he did NOT call me back. I was crushed!!! Even more, though, I was intrigued. Those two days made me really think he was not that interested in getting to know me. I began to question his motivation for even exchanging numbers with me. Who did He think HE was??? Then, like clockwork, my phone rang. The phone call in and of itself was quite anticlimactic.

2. A GOOD MAN IS HARD TO FIND. You are telling me that you have heard this all before, but it bears repeating. There are a lot of grown boys out there and wolves on the prowl and fakers and married men and LIONS and TIGERS and BEARS, OH MY!!! There are plenty of men out here, but you must have some kind of filtering process. The man I am looking for is rare. Now I know I said I'd give my standards a re-evaluation. I am supposed to be saying "perhaps" more than NO! You know what? It is just not that easy.

Which brings me to my latest and greatest theory....I am looking for a UNICORN...That rare and mythical creature. I am looking for the kind of man you don't see everyday. He has characteristics that distinguish him from his counterparts. He is HONEST with himself and others. He can move freely in many different circles, but remain TRUE to himself. Not a LIAR, just versatile. Some people are liars because they lie to others, but there are also those who have lied to themselves for so long they believe it. In other words: FRONTIN'. Those who Front are not versatile, they are pretenders. This rare and mythical man, this UNICORN will be mindful of his own uniqueness and will naturally gravitate towards someone who is like them, unique, not just a horse with a surgically applied horn.
Not only will he be HONEST, he will be HARMLESS. I don't mean weak or a wimp. I mean he won't be malicious. Out to hurt himself or others through unhealthy habits or practices. Think about that ALPHA Male who wants to run the entire show the entire time. This person is often [un]knowingly offensive to others. A Unicorn is a natural leader and a democratic person who accepts roles for the good of the order. They don't just HAVE TO run the show,but in all situations is capable. If a person's own mother apologizes for his ways, he is NOT a Unicorn, but a JACKASS with a horn surgically attached to his forehead.
Men know that these mythological creatures exist among them. They often imitate them to attract female unicorns (like us). It sometimes takes a minute to discover that the horn is a fake, so consider yourselves warned there are unicorns out there, you just have to look past a lot of horses and asses to get to them.
Because Unicorns are not PREDATORS, they are not out hunting. They are also easy prey for the lions and tigers and bears (OH MY). As a protective measure, they may actually remove the horn to blend in with the crowd. This makes them as easy to find as the proverbial needle in the haystack.
My point ladies, is on this quest, it is more important to observe the actions of the crowd. The Unicorn will reveal himself through words and deeds. The only other drawback to searching for a person like yourself is, that they only come around once in a great while and they don't stick around B.S. for very long. Just like sighting an actual Unicorn, they are there for a split second and then they're gone. While looking for one to reveal himself, be mindful that we must reveal ourselves to him. By hanging with too many horses, ponies, donkeys, mules, and fake asses a Unicorn may miss another in the crowd. ACTIONS and DEEDS are the things that separate those of us who are special from those of who are AVERAGE but working hard.
I think now, that I am going to have to work on my own horn...Beep beep!!!

"We are all just prisoners here, of our own device"

Her mind is Tiffany twisted.

She got the Mercedes Benz.

She got a lot of pretty boys

that she calls friends

A male friend recently commented that being happily single was a contradiction. He further went on to state that I am (happily) single by choice. His comments were fueled by his observation that I APPEAR to be having my cake and eating it too. You know, all my own stuff is mine. I don't have someone to check in with or to be responsible for.....

When a woman is liberated, I think, men get jealous. Not scared. Men are not scared of women, never believe that myth. They are (sometimes) intimidated by the possibility that we may NOT need them.

Those women who proudly proclaim themselves INDEPENDENT, which by the way is so passe in this day and age, say they are not looking for a man. I don't think that is true and I don't think that is a good word to use to describe someone who has decided she can do bad by herself. The word I have chosen is LIBERATED because when you need what you have and have what you need, you are truly free. To be independent is to not depend on someone, but you can still struggle, just struggle independently.

In the song Hotel California, The Eagles paint this picture of what looks like Heaven, but in actuality is Hell. He can't seem to figure that out until the song is almost over. By the way, that's when he discovers that you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave.

This blog, and this whole experience is designed to celebrate LIBERATION. What I do know about Liberation (and salvation) is that it is FREE and I am FREE to be me. I am FREE to do me. I am FREE to like me.

So many times we are jailed by our internal wardens. We have limited ourselves (loosely based on societal confines). We just might be prisoners of our own device..But guess who has the KEY??? Here's a hint, look in the mirror.

So the next question is: Do you really wanna be free? To:

sing the words of that Old Negro Spiritual, Free at last!!! Free at last!!!
Thank God ALMIGHTY, I'm Free at last!!!
MLK

I know I am!!